How to Avoid Financial Infidelity
Concealing credit card debt, hiding purchases, or extra money, even with good intentions, is hardly ever a good idea. The underlying cause is typically a relationship issues, and without focusing on the root of the problem risks your financial security and your future.
Secret Spending
Usually in a relationship you have one partner managing the finances and agreed upon expectations in theory. Our biggest struggle with achieving our financial goals was one of us spending more money than we’ve mutually agreed to, only to then finding out when payments are due. When we first moved in together my wife had sizeable student loans and credit card debt that were becoming unmanageable. We agreed it would be best and less stress on her if I handled all of our money matters. However, me making more money and being in control had my wife feel uncomfortable with being dependent on me and had an impact on her sense of self. Which led her to revenge spend that gave her a feeling of empowerment.
How to Avoid Financial Infidelity
Financial infidelity happens because talking about money with your partner is hard to talk about in general. Communicating openly and more frequently about money with each other has so far been the only way to keep our financial goals on track. Unfortunately in today’s society, especially in our situation, if we want to have a successful relationship, we have to be able to talk to each other about things that are difficult even something trivial like fiat currency. I found it was important to let my wife know that my way is not the only way and everything else is wrong. That we are both right based on our upbringing and life experiences we’ve had both together and apart. It’s common that people are raised to not bring up discussions about money despite personal finance being a huge part of our lives. Our issues were just a matter of trust, understanding each other, and getting on the same page. This experience gave us an opportunity to grow and continue to learn about each other at a deeper level.